A Different Kind of Christmas

There was a time when I thought skipping the traditional holiday gatherings wasn’t really an option.

Christmas meant travel, gift-giving, gatherings, family obligations and trying to fit everything in. It was supposed to be a cheerful time of year, so I felt like I should want all of it.

But sometimes, you don’t.

Sometimes you don’t want to make the trek through the snow or spend hours trying to think of the perfect gifts. Maybe you’re saving for something that’s important to you, and spending hundreds of dollars on everyone else doesn’t feel right. Maybe the thought of navigating complicated relationships or answering invasive questions is enough to make you want to stay home.

And I’ve come to believe that’s okay.

Our mental health doesn’t become less important simply because it’s the holiday season.

I’ve thought about this a lot over the years, especially when the cheer was over and I found myself feeling like I needed a vacation from the holidays themselves. There were years when I was still catching up on bills months later because I’d overspent trying to make the season what I thought it was supposed to be.

Eventually, I started doing things differently.

I’ve allowed myself to step away from the traditional Christmas. I still connect with family but instead of trying to fit everyone into a whirlwind of a day or two, I make plans separately, on my own time.

What I discovered surprised me.

Without all the pressure, I had more intentional time with the people I love. Smaller gatherings gave me the chance to actually be present. The connections felt more intimate, more genuine.

And when I ask myself what I really want for Christmas, the answer is surprisingly simple:

Me time.

I want to put my feet up with good food and a glass of wine. I want to read my books, catch up on movies and have some quiet time to reflect on the year that’s passed.

I’ve realized that I genuinely enjoy having space to slow down and hear my own thoughts.

Maybe next year I’ll want something different. And that’s okay too.

I’m learning that there doesn’t have to be one right way to move through the holidays. We get to decide what feels nourishing, what feels meaningful and what we’re willing to let go of.

So maybe the question isn’t What am I supposed to do for Christmas?

Maybe it’s simply:

What do I really want for Christmas?

And then, where we can, perhaps we can give ourselves a little more permission to make that happen.